Flying
Hearing the crunching of sand under Peanut’s hooves,
The chirping of birds near
Tweeting, laughing at me.
Watching me fall off,
Time and time again.
Poles tumbling and clanging, sand scratching at me.
The other girls, like the birds, laughing at my falls,
Laughing at me.
Swinging my leg over the saddle,
Cold, smooth leather reins in my hands,
Feet in sturdy, metal stirrups, I get on.
Time and time again.
Warm belly against my boots. I edge him to go on.
I receive a comfortable canter.
Everything is okay.
I see the jump ahead,
I see Peanut,
I see the sand.
Time and time again.
My feet carry me, blinking away tears.
The tack room comes and surrounds me.
I breathe.
In - It happens to everyone.
Out - I can jump again.
In - Everything is okay
Out - Everything is okay.
Leg on.
Heels down.
Look forward.
Squeeze your core.
Light on the mouth.
Sit back.
Fly.
Familiar horse against my boots.
My boots move.
Edging him to go on.
Everything is okay. Everything is okay…
Repeating until I can’t anymore.
I see the jump ahead.
Its vastness swallowing me.
What if I fall? Falling. Falling. Falling.
Clopping of hooves echoing in my brain.
I hear it over and over and over
Until I don't.
I feel my stomach drop...
Am I falling?
But the clopping resumes.
Behind me, my mountain comes into view,
I climbed it.
I flew it.